Moms are tremendous blessings to their families. Without moms, order in the house crumbles rather quickly.
Whether she is a stay-at-home mom or a full-time employee, mom often functions as a taxi for children, family chef, doctor-on-call, and the attendant to any other emergency problems that come up in the house. She works tirelessly from morning to evening without often getting recognition for her labors. Being a mother is exhausting.
Dads, we must remember that our wives cannot run tirelessly forever. They might be very good at what they do, but they still need a break. Husbands and wives often focus on setting aside time as a couple, but I want to advocate for setting aside time for your wife…WITHOUT YOU!
First and Foremost a Child of God
If your wife is a believer, she is first and foremost a child of God and a follower of Christ before she is a wife and mother.1 This is a relationship that exists apart from you. She must cultivate her own heart with her Savior. She must pursue Christ, although alongside you, individually. She has an eternal soul that will live forever apart from you.
Because moms spend most of their time serving others, it is easy for this truth to be ignored. She must intentionally pursue Christ each and every day. Oftentimes, her schedule is so full with serving others that her relationship with God gets neglected.
Dads, let me encourage you to give your wife a break. Spend time preparing a getaway for her…alone. Ask her what might be refreshing for her. What can you do to help facilitate her own spiritual formation?
Ideas to Consider
1. A day with God
Consider setting aside time for your wife to get away for a day. Make plans to watch the kids. This could be as simple as giving her the day at the park to pray, meditate, and read Scripture. You could also rent an accommodation for the day if she would prefer a more secluded environment. I have heard from multiple ladies that this “day with God” was often what they needed to push through the difficult busyness of life.
2. A weekend retreat
Consider going beyond a day with God and giving your wife a weekend retreat. This could be something that is done in partnership with your local church. You could also send your wife to a retreat at a Christian camp. A retreat might be a way to give her that personal spiritual refreshment in a social environment where godly friendships may also be established.
3. A ladies conference
Consider sending your wife to a ladies conference. This is most likely the greatest financial investment of the options listed, but it can also be one of the most life-changing and spiritually refreshing as well.
A conference provides a focused time for a spiritual topic or theme that can be encouraging for your wife. Conferences are also great for connecting with other like-minded believers that one might not otherwise connect with. Conferences can also function as a spiritual recharge for your wife. She may enjoy it so much she makes it an annual or biannual event in the calendar.
Dad, Give Her a Break
Dads, the most loving thing you could do for your wife right now might be to give her a break to cultivate her own spiritual walk with Christ…without you! Consider this. Talk to your wife and get feedback from her.
She might feel guilty about entertaining this idea so assure her that you would be delighted to do this for her. Whatever you decide to do, remember that you are called to love your wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25), and loving your wife might just mean that you give her up for a few days.
There are some who may have unbelieving spouses. This means that the cultivation of one’s personal walk with Christ is not applicable to that wife, but her need for time alone still applies. In this situation a believing husband may choose to implement creative ways for their wife to get some rest while also being exposed to the Gospel (i.e. retreats, conferences, resources, etc.) ↩︎
Growing Fathers Team
Brett serves as a church planting missionary on the Garden Route of South Africa. He is currently planting and pastoring Cornerstone Fellowship Church in Knysna. He and his wife, Brittni, have two young children, Isaiah and Brooklyn.View all posts by Brett