Five Truths for the Drive Home

Work is done. You’re stuck in traffic. You’re tired. With the rush hour traffic in front of you and the stress of the job behind you, it’s easy to view your drive home from work each day as wasted time–a grueling but necessary drudgery that you just need to survive. But those 20-30 minutes might be the most important minutes of the day. Whatever mindset we cultivate in the car is the mindset we bring into the house.

Are you ready and prepared to love and serve your family? What if you used your drive home to prepare your heart and mind for your time at home? Here are five truths to remind yourself of during your drive home.

Your family is not an inconvenience–they’re your mission.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” (Psalm 127:3)

If you view your job as your primary calling, your family will get the leftovers. They’ll become an inconvenience to endure rather than a blessing to enjoy. Too many men look for their fulfillment and purpose in their vocation, rather than their families. They’re driven, focused, and passionate at work, but passive, resigned, and detached at home.

As you drive home remember that you’re leaving your “second job” for your primary calling. No matter how much money you make or how essential you are to your job, nothing is more important than the family you’re driving home to.

We deceive ourselves by thinking that as long as we’re making money to provide for our family, we’re fulfilling our purpose. But our families need far more than financial provision. They need our personal involvement and relational investment. They need dads that are nurturing their children in the Lord. They need husbands who are loving their wives like Christ loved the church.

Your job isn’t your purpose, your family is.

Yes, you’re tired. So is your wife.

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)

Those first few moments after coming home can easily turn into a competition about who had the tougher day. Those last few hours of the day usually look like two tired parents running at under 50% capacity. As you approach your driveway, remember that your wife is probably exhausted and eagerly looking forward to some extra help. Enter the home with an understanding, compassionate heart.

Cast your burdens on the Lord before you cast them on your family.

“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

Work is stressful. Your body may ache from physical labor, or your mind may be worn out from endless demands. Don’t bring that frustration and anger through the front door of your home. Your wife doesn’t deserve the detached withdrawal brought on by a long day at work. Your kids don’t deserve your angry reaction because you’ve had a frustrating day.

Your drive home is your opportunity to cast those burdens and cares on the Lord in prayer. Give him your frustrations and anger. Ask him for grace to leave those anxieties in the car when you walk up your driveway. Your family needs to see the peace of Christ in you, not the chaos of work.

Your kids are beginning their day with you.

Depending on when your work day ends, and how long your commute is, you have maybe 3-4 hours between your arrival at home and your kids’ bedtime. Your kids are eager for some quality time with Dad. The pressures of your work are lost on them. They don’t grasp the fact that you’re dead tired. All they know is that “Daddy is home” and it’s their first chance with you that day.

Use your drive home to prepare your mind and pray for strength to be fully present. Help them with their homework. Wrestle on the living room floor. Help with the bedtime routine. Pray with them before bed. These few hours between work and bedtime are the moments that will shape your kids’ memory of you for years to come.

Prepare to serve, not to be served.

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)

Christ’s pattern for greatness is service. He loved us so much that he entered this world to serve sinners like us. Throughout his earthly ministry, he gave himself to those around him, and ultimately, gave himself on the cross as a sacrifice for our sins. If Jesus, God in flesh, was willing to serve sinners like us, we should be ready to serve our families.

Don’t enter your front door with the expectation of being served by your wife and kids. Enter with the expectation to serve. Don’t retreat to your favorite chair, camp out in the bathroom, or turn on the TV. For those few hours at the end of the day, use whatever energy you have left to selflessly serve your family. Help with the dishes. Give your wife a break from the kids. Tackle that project your wife has been asking about. Serve your family! With every act of service, you’re reflecting the heart of your Savior.

As you drive home from work, remind yourself of these truths. Pray as you drive (with your eyes open, of course!) and ask God for the grace to love and serve your family like Jesus.