Growing into a New Year

At the beginning of a new year, there is a flood of articles giving “tips” or “tricks” to conquer the days ahead, turn over a new leaf, or be the best version of yourself. At Growing Fathers, we don’t want to wade into the self-help genre for many reasons, but we do recognize that some of the best ways to grow as a father is to learn from other dads, even if those lessons are very short or simple.

In the spirit of small but helpful suggestions to your parenting, we have compiled four more lessons from 2025 that can potentially help you become a more Christlike father in 2026.

Aaron Berry’s Reflections

Aaron Berry draws our attention back to the basics. Here’s what he had to say:

One lesson I learned in 2025 (and am still learning) is the importance of prioritizing genuine personal growth before practical parenting changes. My effectiveness as a father is only as strong as my personal relationship with Christ.

If I treat parenting simply like a set of strategies to master, without personally walking with Christ, any changes I make as a dad are merely cosmetic. All those strategies and techniques matter, but they’ll only produce surface-level and short-term change apart from a genuine relationship with Jesus.

Sometimes the most powerful influence in my home isn’t what I say to my kids, but who I am becoming in front of them. I want my personal pursuit of Christ, seen in my humility, repentance, grace, and kindness, to set the tone and temperature in my home more than the rules I set.

God grows better fathers by first growing godly men. Sometimes, the most loving thing I can do for my kids is to be faithful in my personal Bible reading, to be constant in prayer, and live a life of humble repentance before God—to be the person I want my kids to become.

Amen to that! If you don’t know Christ as Savior, this is the first step to becoming a growing father: believe in Jesus as the only means of salvation and put your faith in Him alone. Then we can direct our children to know and love Jesus.

Zach Sparkman’s Reflections

Zach Sparkman deals with the spiritual aspect of raising children. Here’s what he wrote:

At the tail end of 2024 the Lord blessed us with a new baby, our first girl. My wife and I agreed that our daughter was our favorite person of the year in 2025! Now our children have a ten year age span: 10, 8, 5 and 1. And we discovered the daily challenge of “customizing” our parenting to each child based on their age, maturity, and personality.

When we grow frustrated with parenting, we have learned to step back and take a look at our own hearts. Our frustrations often reveal our unrealistic expectations or sinful desires. As we reflected together, I realized that I was expecting too much of them for the age they were. It is good to have a standard of obedience, but should I be getting upset with a 5 year old or 10 year old if they don’t stop everything they are doing and immediately, joyfully and diligently do what I asked? No. It was pretty humbling to realize I was asking my boys to obey me a lot faster than I myself obey the Lord Jesus.

Our church emphasized showing grace to others in 2025, and I had to learn to encourage them to obey while showing them grace. That means I need to learn to distinguish between sin and immaturity. For example, sometimes an eight year old won’t listen, not because he’s sinning, but because he’s eight. With the Lord’s help, my prayer for 2026 is to build on these lessons so that our family will love and serve one another.

One of our jobs as dads is to foster the right atmosphere in our homes.

Kyle Grant’s Reflections

Kyle Grant mentioned a habit he developed in 2025 that helped both him and his family:

In preparation for this, I asked my wife how I grew as a dad in 2025. She said I have been more present. She didn’t mean I’ve been around more. That hasn’t increased or decreased. She meant I’ve been more present when I am present. For this, I credit the discipline of “clock-out yielding.” And I commend it to you. I started it sometime in March. On my way home from work I yield as many things as I can think of to Christ. I yield my pastoral worries, my unfinished tasks, my frustrations with self, etc.

All of my life is Christ’s anyway. Yielding admits and rests in this reality. It relinquishes specific struggles to God’s sovereignty. It is a spiritual pressure valve release. It keeps our spiritual struggle, work frustrations, relational tension, or other stresses from leaking into our family interactions and physical presence. When we leave our stresses and frustrations at the throne of grace, we won’t bring them into our homes.

Finally, it is good to take time away from the regular pressures of life.

Kristopher Schaal’s Reflections

Kristopher Schaal’s lesson from 2025 dealt with vacations:

This year, I was reminded of the value of purposeful vacations. I planned two trips for our summer. First, I took my wife to a cabin for our anniversary. The trip was low-budget, and we did a lot of nothing, but the rest and quality time were life-giving. Second, our family went on a road trip to Utah. I preached at a camp during that time, but we also met up with friends and spent time together as a family. During one stretch, we stayed in a friend’s basement and visited Zion National Park. Both of these trips were “firsts” in their own ways for our family.

Vacations are awesome because they allow us to rest and spend time with our families—things which God cares a lot about! The children of Israel took trips to Jerusalem every year to celebrate various feasts (Ex 23:14-17). These trips no doubt provided a context for fathers to spend time with their children and teach them about God (c.f. Deut 6:6-8).

Last year’s family vacation and couple getaway experiments are definitely a “do-over” for our family. It may not look the same every year, but I want to continue prioritizing intentional trips that help us to rest and spend time together. I can’t wait for this summer’s family vacation!

Whatever the Lord calls you to this year, we hope these lessons from our team will help you become a godlier father so that your church and family will be strengthened for God’s glory in 2026.