Undervalued Spiritual Disciplines for Dads

We all remember certain exercises or disciplines that were placed on us growing up that were less than enjoyable (see: piano lessons and math homework, ugh). But, thanks to those years engrossed in those rhythms, I can look back and see how those disciplines and the effort they took developed certain traits in me that I now value and appreciate.

The same can be said for what are often referred to as “spiritual disciplines”. These are exercises that followers of Jesus should pursue with regularity that help train us in our walk with him and better equip us to serve him. Things like Bible reading, prayer, thanksgiving, and corporate worship are used by Christ to develop his image in us.

As dads who have been called by God to lead our families in pursuing Christlikeness, committing to these spiritual disciplines helps more people than just us. As we commit to these habits, our children benefit. But here’s the hard part. While it is true that our Savior accomplishes that work in us, that process still requires effort from us. These disciplines are hard work! They take (wait for it)… discipline!

Scripture presents many spiritual disciplines. The obvious ones have already been listed above and have been covered in past articles on this very blog because they are so essential to our lives as Christian fathers. But some others are under-utilized by most of us. Those lesser-known ones can have a massive impact on every dad’s spiritual well-being and on how equipped he is to be a godly dad.

Below, I highlight just a few of those other disciplines presented in God’s Word, and I’d like to suggest that you strongly consider developing these habits in your personal walk with Jesus. And I also hope that we’ll be able to see how developing these in ourselves will positively influence our kids for Jesus.

At first glance, these disciplines don’t seem to have anything to do with our kids. In fact, they seem dad-centric and insular. . It’s easy to see how my time in God’s Word or my prioritization of worship at church will directly profit my family. But as you exercise effort to develop these other habits too, your children will reap the benefits.

Meditation

When we think of meditation, we often picture a monk sitting cross-legged high on a mountain somewhere, emptying his mind in pursuit of inner peace and tranquility. But Scripture presents meditation quite differently. Meditation isn’t emptying our mind, it’s filling it with transforming truth. It’s reflecting extensively on a particular portion of God’s Word rather than just reading it; it’s stopping to deliberately and deeply think on God’s truth so that you can understand and apply it better.

Throughout the Psalms, David shared that meditation was something he was determined to do. Check out the reasons for and benefits of meditation found in places like Ps. 119:15, Ps. 145:5 and Ps. 119:97. Dads, discipline yourselves–make conscious effort– to ponder truths you’ve just read in your personal Bible study or heard at church. Don’t look into the mirror of God’s Word and walk away without a second thought (James 1:22-25)! Meditation takes practice! We aren’t automatically good at it. Pray that the Holy Spirit would reveal truths to you from the passage before you begin. Read through a passage several times, looking for a theme or main truth. Save a screenshot from your Bible app to pull up throughout the day. Or, if it’s a short passage, commit it to memory!

Ask questions about a Scripture passage you’re focusing on, such as:

• What should I believe about God based on these verses?
• What should I praise or thank God for?
• Is there a command here to obey, and if so how can I do that today?
• Is there a warning here for me to heed?
• What does this passage reveal about my heart or attitude? What do I need to change?

While this is a personal discipline that you exercise in your own mind, this will impact your family. God told Joshua that meditating was central to his success as a leader of others (Josh. 1:8). As your mind is renewed through saturation in God’s Word, it will transform how you think about everything! Your attitudes will change, your demeanor will change, your speech will change, your priorities will change, and your leadership will change.

Solitude

Whether you’re an extrovert, and introvert, or an extroverted introvert (yes it’s really a thing, look it up), sometimes we all feel the need for solitude. We mostly crave alone time because we want to just be by ourselves to escape certain people or circumstances. It’s a self-serving thing. But Scripture presents example after example of believers who sought solitude in order to draw closer to someone. For a Christ-follower, seeking solitude is a powerful way to commune with him.

Jesus himself is the best example of someone seeking solitude as a spiritually renewing exercise. He regularly rose early and found a solitary place to pray (Mark 1:35). He did so because his responsibilities, ministries, and burdens were great. He did so because even the most worthwhile of serving opportunities could distract from closeness to the one he was serving–his Father (Luke 5:15-16). He did so when he faced the deepest and darkest hardships, pouring his heart out to God (Matt. 14:10-12; John 18:1-2).

If Jesus needed to prioritize solitude in order to truly commune with God without distraction, then you and I certainly do. The discipline of seeking periods of quiet aloneness is a wonderful weapon for you as a Christ-following dad amid a chaotic, busy life. This may take some sacrifice. You may need to wake up a bit earlier so your time with God is distraction-free. Schedule this solitude, make it non-negotiable, and identify a place or setting where you know you can be undistracted. You may need to take a walk alone to pray. You may need to use your daily commute to meditate (see above!), sing, pray, or listen to Scripture. Discipline your mind to not wander. Put the phone away! Be still and quiet in God’s presence.

Ironically, as you exercise the spiritual discipline of solitude and commune with God without distraction, your time with your family will be more healthy, too! Just as it was clear to the people of Israel that Moses had been with God, so it will be for your family (Exodus 34:29-35). You may not literally be glowing, but it’ll still be obvious!

Rest

When you see the above heading, you probably have two initial thoughts. First, if you’re like me, you’re not all that opposed to the idea! Second, while we all know that rest is important to our physical wellbeing, you may wonder how prioritizing rest is innately a spiritual discipline.

But it is. In fact, God built in a message of how vital it is right from the beginning of time–on the 7th day of creation’s existence! When God rested, he created something Scripture calls “Sabbath”, which simply means “to rest”. God didn’t need the rest, but he set that example so that we would see the need to. Furthermore, remembering the Sabbath day was one of the 10 Commandments for God’s Old Testament people (Exodus 20:8-11), emphasizing both their need for regular rhythms of rest and the opportunity to use that rest for spiritual purposes.

Without getting into all the nuanced interpretational aspects of the concept of Sabbath throughout Scripture (such as what day we should observe it or what extent or form of rest it should entail), I can say with confidence that the principle of Sabbath is presented as an essential discipline in God’s Word. In a hectic and stressful world that often produces angst, strife, and burnout, there is great value in forcing ourselves to simply stop. Unplugging rejuvinates us, calms us, and creates opportunities for worship. That rest is not merely for our benefit–it’s ultimately for the purpose of enjoying our God. Committing to rest also effectively enables the other two disciplines we’ve seen in this post!

Block off a day of the week free from the things that so stressfully fill up all the other days. If you can’t block off a day, block off a significant part of one. Try to make it the same day you worship God (Sunday), but if that’s not possible because Sundays are hectic, find it elsewhere on the weekly schedule and prioritize it. Perhaps unlike the other two disciplines we’ve seen, this one has a more obvious connection to your family because you can and should all sabbath together weekly! In our culture, this discipline has been almost completely lost. Dads, intentionally find it again!

Conclusion

These are just a few spiritual disciplines from Scripture that we can and should pursue as believers and as fathers. In your own personal study, consider looking into other disciplines Scripture presents such as biblical fasting, fellowship, simplifying life, and confession of sin. Guys, get into these rhythms! Our families will be impacted by our personal pursuits of these habits. By the way, mothers need these too. Dads, actively enable your wives to pursue meditation, solitude, and rest. Take the kids so she can enjoy these same wonderful moments communing with God.

As we enter one of the more stressful and busy times of the year, these three spiritual disciplines are even harder to prioritize, but it’s worth the effort. May God graciously enable you to make the effort to draw closer to your Savior through these wonderful gifts.