Growing Your Capacity
I felt stuck.
I wasn’t deconstructing my faith. I wasn’t pulling the plug on my marriage. I loved my kids. But I felt trapped. Going through the motions wasn’t bringing any fresh or exciting perspective on life. But who even has time for “fresh and exciting” these days?
No matter how hard I worked, the piles of responsibilities only seemed to stack higher. I serve as an Assistant Pastor at our local church in a part-time capacity. Beyond the regular meetings, discipleship, and services, I usually teach at least once or twice each week. My wife and I also own and operate two separate businesses—each with employees and complexity. We have three delightful (and time-consuming) children.
Our time is in high demand and short supply. The busyness of weekend ministry rolled straight into a week of business management, which flowed right back into the next weekend’s ministry. Weeks turned into months; months into years. I felt stuck—watching time fly by with no ability to slow it down.
I went through my list of responsibilities to see what could be cut. I couldn’t walk away from God—perhaps a minor ministry adjustment to my schedule, but not much else.
Title or no title I would still be very involved in our local church. I couldn’t imagine that abandoning my marriage or walking out on my children would improve anything, not to mention it would be wrong! I still had to eat and sleep. So, maybe a different job?
But any job would still require time and energy. I’m not clever enough to work 4 hours a week and get paid for 45. There was nothing to cut. All the time was spoken for. I spent little to no time on amusements or hobbies for myself.
In my early 30s, I began to worry that a life of peace, fulfillment, meaning, and purpose just wasn’t in the cards for me. I was doing all the “right” things, but I felt like I was drowning under the weight of responsibility. I was operating without margin—and I knew that was not sustainable.
One day, as I was sitting and commiserating about all of this, God dropped a thought into my heart: What if the problem wasn’t the amount of responsibility, but my capacity to handle that responsibility?
One of my favorite stories in Scripture is found in 2 Kings 4:1–7. It tells the story of Elisha and the widow who had debts she couldn’t repay. Elisha instructed her to gather pots from neighbors and relatives and fill them with the small amount of oil she had. Miraculously, the oil didn’t run out until every pot was filled.
The first truth that stands out is that each of God’s blessings come with some responsibility. One might even say:
God’s blessings require effort
God could have created the pots just as easily as He created the oil to fill the pots. But He didn’t. He wanted the widow to operate by faith—through obedience and effort. Imagine the conversation:
Widow: “Can I borrow your pot?” Neighbor: “Sure. Why?” Widow: “To fill with oil.” Neighbor: “Where are you getting oil from? I thought you were poor.” Widow: “I don’t have the oil yet. I’m just preparing.” Neighbor: “So, you want to borrow a pot for oil you don’t have?” Widow: “Yes.”
God’s blessings rarely come without effort. Outside of salvation, my wife is God’s greatest gift of love in my life. She is my best friend, lover, business partner, and the mother of our children. But to fully access the depth of that blessing, I must invest time, effort, tenderness, and humility. Marriage has been a personal boot camp—revealing many areas in my life that required change.
If I only focused on the energy required to maintain a strong marriage, I might conclude it’s too much work. But that’s only half the story. The blessing of walking through life with a godly wife is incalculable. The joy of building a life together is the most fun I’ve ever had.
God has allowed me to be a business owner as a means to support my family, that has also afforded me control of my schedule so that I can spend time in service at our church. Both of these blessings require effort from me in order to sustain.
As I reflected, I realized that I had been viewing God’s blessings as burdens. I had been praying for God’s favor, yet I wasn’t prepared for the effort required to steward those blessings when He answered. I wanted God’s blessings without effort, but that is not how he works. It is the effort that forces us to depend on him, turn to him, and trust him. Without the effort we would live as entitled and spoiled children. God’s blessings require effort.
My natural capacity can limit God’s blessings.
The second truth from the widow’s story is that the oil ran out only when there were no more pots to fill. If she had five more pots, God would have filled five more. If she had twenty more, God would have filled twenty. Had she collected every pot in Israel, they all would have been filled.
God’s reservoir of oil was never going to run dry, but it was metered out in direct proportion to the capacity she provided God.
What if the problem wasn’t the amount of my responsibilities, but my capacity? What if I was overwhelmed because God had already filled every pot I had prepared? What if I was stuck simply because I wasn’t prepared for what God wanted to do in my life? These were the questions that plagued me as a 30-year-old man trying to figure it all out.
Then, God gave me another thought: What if I can increase my capacity? Could I figure out a way to give God more pots to fill?
As I looked around at people I respected, I noticed something: They were doing more than I was—yet had more margin in their lives. For years, I assumed this was because they were smarter. I’ve always known I’m not “book smart.” But I began to wonder: What if their capacity had nothing to do with intelligence?
That realization marked the beginning of a 10–12-year journey to grow my capacity. If I had maxed out my natural ability, I needed to develop new skills, seek growth, and push for change—mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
You cannot grow by accident.
Godly fathers, intuitive husbands, and faithful church leaders all grow on purpose.
I once heard a pastor say that he added one new discipline to his life each year. He understood that life is the sum of our habits. If he wanted to move forward, he had to refine—or create—habits that aligned with his desired future. I can want to lose my “dad bod” all I want, but until I change my diet, cut out the fast food, and reduce carbs, that desire won’t translate into reality.
Your habits are your life.
So, I made a decision: I would add one new discipline each year. I would work on it intentionally—investing time and money, fine-tuning it, and learning from the process. At the end of each year, I would be one habit stronger. Some of those disciplines have included working out consistently, reading or listening to growth-focused books, and waking up early. I used to rise at 7 a.m.—now I’m usually up by 4 or 4:30 a.m.
I also committed to walking 10,000 steps daily for a full year. I combined that habit of movement with early mornings and used that time to listen to scripture and sermons, and spend focused time in prayer. This one habit alone has completely changed the trajectory of my life.
As my disciplines grew, so did my capacity. I now carry more responsibility than ever—but I operate with margin. Margin that didn’t exist 10 years ago. This has taken years of effort—physically, mentally, and spiritually. But it has expanded my capacity and created space for more of God’s blessings.
You don’t need to follow my plan, but you do need an intentional plan for personal growth. It must be specific, measurable, and detailed. Apply this across every area of your life, and you will grow. That growth will lead to a new level of capacity you didn’t think was possible.
The best part? You don’t need to walk away from your faith. You don’t need to abandon your marriage, neglect your children, or find a new boss. You don’t even need a dramatic change of scenery to be more effective in life or ministry. What you need is a plan for personal growth.
Chances are, the problem isn’t your environment—and it’s not that you haven’t found your passion. It’s a lack of capacity. God wants to bless you. But if you’ve maxed out your personal skill set, it’s time to raise the ceiling. It’s time to bring more pots for God to fill. God’s blessings always require effort. And it’s possible to grow your capacity to receive more of them. So: learn how to grow.