How to Talk with your Kids about National Tragedies

Last Wednesday, within the space of an hour, I heard about two shootings. The first shooting killed the conservative political activist Charlie Kirk. The second took place at a local high school 30 minutes away. These things happened just a couple weeks after a fatal shooting at a Catholic school in Minnesota. What is this world coming to?

Tragically, this type of violence is not unusual in our culture nowadays. At some point our children will hear about events like these and grapple with hard questions and deep emotions. How can we, as fathers, raise our children to not respond with fear and think about this type of violence from a biblical worldview? How can we shepherd them to respond to this type of evil in a biblically appropriate way?

I would like to share four biblical talking points to help guide your parenting conversations about these sensitive topics. First, let me preface this with a few caveats.

• I am not going to address the host of political questions that come along with this.
• Whatever conversations you have with your children must be age appropriate. Please, use discernment with your children. My personal philosophy is to not shield my kids from hard things, but teach them how to think about these hard things from a biblical worldview.
• The Bible and the Christian worldview have much more to say about these types of events. My intention is not to be reductionistic, but give fathers some direction for their conversations with their own children.

That being said, talking point #1 is:

1. Acknowledge the reality of sin in our world.

Sadly, people do evil things, and we can’t always escape the evil around us. A couple weeks after my wife and I bought our first home here in Colorado, my wife drove past Columbine High School. The Columbine shooting was a formative event for her as a teenager, and it was sobering to realize that we had moved less than five minutes from the school.

The Bible tells us that our world is broken. As Christians, we have an explanation for this evil: creation groans under the curse of sin, waiting for the final day when God’s justice makes all things right (Romans 8:20-22).

The language we use to describe evil is quite significant. If we diagnose evil with secular terms and labels, we take away hope because we remove the gospel solution. On the other hand, when we label evil as sin, we begin to lead to the gospel, because there is a solution for sin in the work of Jesus Christ. Public acts of violence like this are part of living in a fallen world, but Jesus died to redeem us and reconcile to himself all things (Eph. 1:7-10).

2. Anchor them in the character of God.

When children hear about these tragic events, they will probably respond with a mixture of fear and anxiety (just like we do). You can teach them how to cast our anxieties and fears on the Lord by anchoring them in God’s character. Remind them of who our God is because our trust is found in Him!

Here are a handful of truths about God that apply to these events:

• God is our fortress and our protection. He watches over us. Psalm 91:2- “I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”
• God is our source of safety. Psalm 4:8 — “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
• God will never leave us or forsake us. Hebrews 13:5-6 — “He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’”
• God is in control. Daniel 4:35 — “He does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, ‘What have you done?’”
• God is my helper. Psalm 118:6 — “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

The list goes on. Our God is wise, good, sovereign and powerful. He is for us and with us. Though the earth may totter and tremble, our trust is in the Lord.

3. Teach them that trust in God includes wise actions.

While the Bible very clearly tells us that God watches over us to protect us, the Bible equally encourages us to take wise actions to protect ourselves.

Nehemiah provides a wonderful example of this. In Nehemiah 4, the Jewish people rebuilt the broken-down walls of Jerusalem. The enemies of the Jews plotted an attack against the city to throw it into confusion. Nehemiah led the people to do two things: “we prayed to our God and set a guard as a protection against them day and night.” Notice, they prayed AND set a guard. Their trust in the Lord was totally consistent with taking active steps to protect themselves.

Setting up safeguards to protect your family is a wise application of this principle. Our children need to learn not only the theological truths of Scripture, but basic common sense practices. That would include precautions for physical safety, like locking car doors in public, and online safety, such as not messaging strangers on social media.

Showing your concerned child that you have taken appropriate steps to protect them can reassure them when they are uncertain or afraid and help them understand the responsibility we have to practice safety in our normal routines.

4. Encourage them to pray for those who are affected.

While many of these events will take place far away from where we live, we can teach our children that prayer is a viable action to take. It may not be the only action, but certainly we can do no less than pray for those who are affected.

Not only does this give them an action to take, it disciples them in the spiritual discipline of prayer. The best way to teach them to pray is to pray with them, because they will learn how to pray for others as they listen to you pray for those affected.

Pray for the people involved: that the victims recover, that those who know the victims will experience God’s peace, and that our government leaders will do what is just. But pray also for the kingdom of God to advance: that the gospel will go forward, that Christians will be bold to share their hope in God, and that people will seek out gospel-preaching churches and Bibles to find answers to life’s hard questions.

With that being said, I encourage you to take 60 seconds right now and do this last step–pray for the situation on your heart and bring the affected people to the Lord.