Parenting

Affirm Your Children’s Connection to You

by Andrew French

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a father and his children

The writer of Hebrews compares God the Father’s loving discipline of His children and that of “earthly fathers” to their own children (Hebrews 12:9-10). That association or mental comparison is almost subconscious for people.

For better or worse, children will naturally begin to ascribe to God the Father the perceptions they have of their earthly father. An absent or distant dad can become an absent or distant God. A “whatever-you-do-doesn’t-matter” dad becomes a “whatever-you-do-doesn’t-matter” God. A demanding father whose favor must be earned through performance can translate to a demanding God whose favor must be earned through performance.

How we relate to our children, then, is extremely important. One simple way we, as dads, can help our kids develop the right perception of God is to affirm and delight in their connection to us.

God the Father demonstrates this to His own in His Word. He often reminded Israel of His love for her and His faithfulness to her by telling her she was His (Isaiah 43:1).

If we’re in Christ, we are inseparable from God’s love (Romans 8:35-39). The Spirit assures us of being adopted into God’s family when we call out to our “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15-16; Galatians 4:5-7). He even “chose us in [Christ] before the foundation of the world” (Ephesians 1:4). We are immeasurably loved by God our Father and assured of that love.

In part, that’s what Horatius Bonar was getting at when he wrote, “My love is ofttimes low / My joy still ebbs and flows. / But peace with Him remains the same— / No change Jehovah knows.”

As that translates to the relationship your children have to you, can they say that about you?

Does your child know that you are glad they are yours? Not that they are a child. Or that they’re a good child. Or that they are a smart child. Or that they are an athletic child.

, I’m so glad you’re my daughter.” “, I’m so glad you’re my son.” At the end of the day, literally and proverbially, your children would immensely benefit from this affirmation. Despite their sin and how we may have had to deal with it that day. Regardless of how well or poorly they performed in their endeavors, they know that Dad loves them and is glad they’re his.

As flawed as I am, I’m thankful my heavenly Father delights that I’m His. May we more consistently image His love to our own children.

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