How to Be a Pro Life Man
It is essential that Christian fathers lead the way in the fight for life. But what does it really mean to be a pro-life man?
It’s travel season! As we all plan our summer travel, we’ve compiled a list of travel tips we’ve found helpful. Not every tip will work for you or your family, but we hope you find some help here. Comment below with your own suggestions!
Communication is always important, but especially so when you’re away from home and crammed into a small vehicle. A lot of frustration on trips comes from miscommunication.
Keep in mind that your trip may include several purposes. Most of your time away may be relaxing and refreshing, but you may plan a day of busy activities halfway through your trip. The important thing is to make sure you communicate clearly with each other. Let your purpose(s) guide what you do, who you see, and what you experience.1
So many family trips get off on the wrong foot because tensions were running high due to unreasonable or rushed departure expectations. Obviously sometimes a leisurely departure is not a possibility if your trip has a tight schedule. But if there is any way to build in a relaxed departure process, do it.
We all would rather not admit how many times we’ve inadvertently led our families into interpersonal squabbles and angst just by rushing them all out the door unnecessarily. A rigid departure time set by dad runs the risk of pressuring mom, agitating kids, and causing dad’s own frustration to boil over when the inevitable delay happens. Take your time. Enjoy the whole process building up to the trip, not simply the trip itself, all the while remembering that each step of the journey is an opportunity to model and lead.
Once you get on the road, work hard to keep a realistic travel schedule. While you may be more patient than the average dad, we’re generally known for our impatience during trips.2 One of the best ways to counter our tendency is to plan for breaks and interruptions.
When your phone says “arrival time 5:05pm,” add additional time mentally because planning for no margin will always end in frustration for everyone.3
If you work away from your home, you need to recognize that you’re stepping into your family’s world. They likely already have systems and ways of working when you’re not present. It’s tempting to try to make your family operate like your coworkers or subordinates, but kids make for poor coworkers and your wife doesn’t work for you.
You need to take special care to fit yourself into their normal way of working rather than the other way around. Your 7th grader probably isn’t concerned with efficiency, and that approach might be just the lesson you need to learn.
Even if you’re taking a week to relax as a family, you can still find opportunities to serve others. Pay special attention to people who work in the service sector: from waiters, to flight attendants, to hotel staff. Vacationers often miss opportunities to serve the “servants.” You’re not just a family vacationing, you’re a Christian family vacationing. And that should make all the difference!
Here are some ideas to get you started:
It can be challenging to find time for personal worship during family trips. However, vacation is not a time to break from the spiritual disciplines! Skipping devotions in order to sleep in may seem like a recipe for rejuvenation, but it actually results in greater spiritual fatigue (Matt 11:28–30). Your quiet times will most likely look different and be abbreviated during family vacation, but still plan to spend some time alone with God every day.
In addition, you may want to consider getting some extended time alone as well. If you have little kids, this probably seems like an impossibility, but it can be done.
I’d encourage you to trade afternoons or mornings with your wife, where your wife gets uninterrupted time one day and you get uninterrupted time the next. Bring a book that you’ve wanted to read. Reflect on your life and journal. These times can be tremendously profitable.
Most people think of vacations as “me time.” I need a break, so I get to do whatever I want for seven days! This thinking often applies to God as well, so many Christians take worship “off” when on vacation.
While there may be appropriate times to miss corporate worship, doing so skips opportunities to teach some lessons you can fully teach only when away from your regular church body. Here are a few of those lessons:
Times away as a family are often exciting and frustrating for the same reason: you can’t control what happens. No matter how much you plan or organize, life is different on the road. Make it a habit to bow and pray together. Pray for God’s help and pray to express gratitude.
This summer, we (Chris Pennington here) made a road trip with our three little ones. As we left our home, we prayed for safety and for our car to make it without trouble. And I told my five year-old to remind me to thank God when we arrived at our destination.
The entire arrival process was frustrating and exhausting. By the time we made it to our place, it was nearly 11:00pm and I was already beyond struggling with my attitude. A little voice suddenly spoke up. “God answered our prayer! We need to thank God for taking care of us and keeping our car working!” These are the moments of grace God gives us on our trips when we make prayer a priority.
Sleep can be hard to come by at home in your own bed. It’s often much harder when away. Consider taking extra measures to make sleep come easier for all:
It’s hard to enjoy your time away if you’re not sleeping well. And you usually don’t know what your sleeping arrangements will be until it’s too late to prepare.
If you have little kids, it helps to have some specifics for road trips. How you prepare will depend largely on the ages of your children, your vehicle, the length of your drive, and more, but here are a few ideas:
In my family (Chris Pennington here), we use specific terminology for our times away to help with communication. “Vacation” means we don’t plan anything ahead of time and do everything in our power to return refreshed. If we miss out on experiences, so be it. We use “trip” to communicate that our purpose is to do planned activities, to have a schedule, and to enjoy experiences. We would expect to return home more tired than we left for a trip. ↩
And so we get great little videos like this Instagram video. ↩
For instance, if you have little kids (~under 7), fifteen extra minutes per hour of travel is a good place to start. So a six hour trip is really seven and a half hours. Find your norm and then start the trip by adding that time on mentally to set the right expectations. ↩
Roy Dotrice reads Disney stories as audiobooks. Radio Family Theatre from Focus on the Family has several entertaining stories. Patch the Pirate albums are often informative and instructive for younger kids. ↩
It is essential that Christian fathers lead the way in the fight for life. But what does it really mean to be a pro-life man?
Learn to value a church family because it provides your kids with healthy diversity, loving accountability and ministry opportunities
If you are struggling to "redeem the time" as a family, here are three worthwhile family activities to incorporate into your final weeks of summer.
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