Dads, Your Anger is a Worship Problem

Do you have idols on a shelf in your house that you worship? If you’re a Christian with no background in idol worship, this may be a bit of a shocking question. Let’s try this one — do you ever get angry? Maybe your response is defensive. “Everyone gets angry, is it such a big deal?” Yes. In fact, it’s such a big deal that God chose to include a passage about the heart behind anger right after the Fall in Genesis.

Let’s take a look at Genesis 4. This passage offers us some important insights into dealing with anger. It reveals that anger is actually a symptom of something deeper — a worship problem. Anger is like the light on your dash that says “maintenance required.” If you don’t get the engine fixed, serious damage to the engine can occur without more warning.

One quick note: the Bible does talk about both righteous and unrighteous anger. We can distinguish between them by asking a question. On whose behalf am I angry? If the answer is our own, our anger is unrighteous and self-centered. If the answer is God’s, then we may have righteous anger. This article deals with how to deal with unrighteous anger.

Consider these 3 lessons from Genesis 4 to help you deal with your anger.

1. Deal with anger at its root — ask who you are worshipping.

In the first few verses, we learn that Cain and Abel bring an offering to God based on the fruit of their work. Nothing is clearly wrong with Cain’s offering as it is described. The only difference is the contrast in wording for Abel’s offering (of the firstborn and fat portions). This wasn’t a sin sacrifice (the word is the same for a gift or tribute later in the Old Testament), so it isn’t the content of the sacrifice that is wrong.

Hebrews 11:4 gives us more clarity: “By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain…” Abel’s sacrifice was brought in faith, but Cain’s was not. God could see Cain’s heart. There was something that Cain was not believing about God. Cain thought he should be accepted based on his standards, not God’s. He disagreed with God about his decision to reject the sacrifice and became very angry.

Instead of worshipping the Creator, Cain worshipped himself. He wanted recognition and acceptance. He thought he deserved it. When you sense a desire to burst out in anger, ask yourself — who am I worshipping right now? Am I putting myself on the throne or letting God’s priorities rule my heart? Who deserves worship? Start each day with a prayer that includes “your kingdom come” from the Lord’s Prayer. Depend on God to put his kingdom first in our hearts each day.

2. Deal with anger when you fail — accept God’s offer of forgiveness.

God warns Cain in verse 7: “If you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” One of the things that amazes me in this story is how God continues to show Cain mercy and offer chances for him to repent. This is the first opportunity, but God does it again when he comes to Cain and questions him about where his brother is. Cain is obstinate. His heart is hardened. He won’t listen to God’s warning about his anger or accept God’s judgment after he murders his brother. He is still focused on himself.

We serve the same gracious God that warned Cain and offered him the chance to turn from his sinful path. 1 John 1:9 tells us that “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins…” When you see that you have sinned by becoming angry, turn in repentance. Confess your sin and begin to walk with God again.

3. Be warned about the damage caused by a path of anger — it can impact future generations.

Verses 23–24 of Genesis 4 offer a sobering conclusion to the genealogy of Cain listed in this chapter. Lamech, one of Cain’s descendants, celebrates the murder of a young man or child in song. He lays out the disproportionate response — the other person only wounded him, but he killed in response. He also claims that he deserves much greater than Cain, the first murderer, by saying revenge on him should be seventy-sevenfold.

What a sad climax of depravity to a chapter that started with a man who focused his worship of God on himself. What a warning to us who see the engine light of anger going off in our lives.

Let me encourage you as dads that struggle with anger, there is hope. Psalm 19 clearly says that we can grow as God’s Word cleanses us, allowing us to come with words and meditations that are acceptable in his sight. When God is in his rightful place of rule in our hearts, we will not respond to the circumstances of life with unrighteous anger.