Four Gospel Meditations for the Newborn Stage

Last November, my wife and I sat in the doctor’s office to see the first ultrasound for our 5th child. As the picture came up on the screen, the doctor smiled and said: “do you guys know what that means?” Based on the two circles in front of us, we guessed that we were having twins! We were correct.

As we went to our car with the ultrasound pictures, we had so many things to think about. We were thrilled, but also overwhelmed. We are so thankful to God for giving us these two little ones, but we continue to learn so much in depending on Him every day.

Going through the newborn stage has been exhausting. We feel like brand new parents again. The middle of the night feedings have not just made me tired, though. They’ve also provided times for God to work on my heart. He has made various aspects of the gospel more clear to me as I struggle against the selfishness that arises in my heart when I’m sleep deprived. Whether you are a new dad experiencing the newborn stage, a seasoned dad, or any other busy stage of parenting, I hope these truths refresh your heart and help you to press on!

1. The most important work is finished.

When you have a new baby in your home, there are so many things to take care of. Diapers, feeding, laundry, and the ever-present need to assess why the baby is crying. That’s in addition to all the other things you committed to before you had the baby. You might come home from your day job hoping for some time to relax, but there is always something needed when you have a baby in your home (and your wife has probably been working non-stop while you were away). You will have to put off things that you would like to do in order to deal with the urgent needs. You probably feel like your list of things to do keeps getting longer.

Often in these stages, our values are revealed. As men, if we have been basing our satisfaction and fulfillment on our ability to accomplish things, we can get pretty frustrated when there is no progress on the to-do list. We need to be reminded that we don’t have to check things off to earn favor with God (Eph 2:1-10). Jesus did all the work for that. We can rest in His work, even when the things we want to do aren’t progressing in a particular season of life. When you reach the end of a day and you feel like all you accomplished at home was helping take care of a baby, you might be tempted to get discouraged. You have to realize that even if no one ever recognizes the hours you spent rocking your baby or how many diapers you have changed, this is the work God calls you to for this season. You can rest in Jesus’ work.

2. Serving is your calling.

It’s easy to think of your day job as your calling, and you’re looking forward to getting back to your calling after paternity leave. Maybe when you come home for the day you feel like you’ve done your important work already. Scripture reveals something different. Mark 10:45 says that Jesus came to earth to serve, and as the New Testament unfolds, it becomes clear that He calls His followers to follow on this path. In John 13:14, Jesus tells the disciples that they are to wash each other’s feet, and the way we see that played out in the rest of the New Testament is serving others. In Philippians 2, Paul says that believers are to follow Christ’s example by looking to the interests of others.

Having a new baby in the house presents many opportunities to serve. Remember that caring for your baby is your real calling.

3. God’s glory shines through your weakness.

Are you getting any sleep? Well-meaning onlookers love to ask new parents this question. Of course, the answer is pretty consistently no, at least for a few months. Sleep deprivation affects different people in different ways, but I’ve never met someone who enjoyed it. But there is a biblical case that this sleep deprivation can help you spiritually. Hear me out.

When you’re confident that you can conquer what lies ahead of you for the day, you’re less likely to pray about it. You might not say this, but you’re living like you don’t need God’s help. When you’re sleep deprived and at the end of your ability, your prayers are going to sound much more needy. This is when God loves to use us. When we admit our weakness, we can realize our desperate need for Christ’s power and point the glory to God for anything we accomplish. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV) we find these words:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Paul is delighted (after much wrestling in prayer) to be able to have Christ’s power instead of his own strength. You can embrace this reality with a new little one in your home.

4. Your growth is always worth the difficulty.

In the midst of discussing the difficulties we experience in a broken world, Paul points out in Romans 8 that God’s goal for His children is that they would be conformed to the image of His Son (Romans 8:29). That is the “good” in verse 28, not an easy life. When you go through difficult phases in life, God uses them to shape you into the kind of person He wants you to be: someone who reflects the image of Jesus. In Scripture, we see so many people shaped over many years by the circumstances they face. Abraham and Sarah waited 25 years for the promised baby. Isaac and Rebekah waited 20 years to have children (while praying). The list goes on.

As you think about the newborn stage, or even the 18 years or more that you will have that child in your home, there will be many difficult moments. God isn’t just interested in you teaching your child to walk with Him, though. God is teaching His own child: you. You can welcome the difficulty because of the growth that it produces (see James 1:2-4).

Conclusion

The newborn stage can often be full of indescribable joy. In the midst of those moments, though, there are many challenges. Sometimes it might not feel like you can make it through, but you can be confident that if God’s grace was sufficient to save you from your sins, He can also provide enough grace for you to endure these challenges. Keep clinging to the promises of the gospel to find grace for even the most difficult stages of parenting.

For more biblical encouragement in exhausting stages of parenting, check out Five Biblical Helps for Exhausted Dads.