The Power of Proverbs in Parenting

Here at Growing Fathers, we place a high value on the Bible, so we often write articles and record podcasts that encourage fathers to take up the mantle of leading their families in family worship times. So much of our success at dads revolves around saturating our children in Scripture so that they know, believe and obey the Bible.

For many years, our family gathered to read the Bible, sing and pray before we put the kids down at night. But what I have learned through experience is that different stages of development call for different approaches to family worship. Now that we have four children ages 10 to 1, family Bible reading at bedtime is quite the challenge. In fact, we have four different bedtimes—one for each of the kids!

This summer we tried something different for family worship, which ended up being a perfect shift for our stage of children. Here are just a few reasons why:

• It has been easy to do and has meshed well with our family’s routine.
• It is simultaneously addressing current and future issues, giving my wife and I opportunities to discuss important topics that every child needs to learn.
• It has also enabled us to more clearly connect ways we are parenting the kids to Scripture so that they see why we did what we did or said what we said.
• And, it is extremely simple to do.

Now, I don’t want to sound like a QVC infomercial—“with just 4 payments of $49.95, this perfect family devotions packet can be yours!” Yet I intentionally listed many of the benefits we’ve found to stress to you how impactful this has been for us. Obviously, there are many things you can do to teach your family the Scriptures, but this has been such a blessing at this stage that I encourage every dad to at least consider doing this with their family at some point.

So what is this? It’s Proverbs.

Why Proverbs?

Proverbs has exceptional power in parenting because it was written by a father to his children so that they would learn to live wisely for the Lord.

Many scholars believe that the “son” in Proverbs was an adolescent—potentially as young as 10 but more in the teen years. Nearly every topic you need to address with your middle schooler or high schooler is found in Proverbs to some extent. Solomon discusses things like: one’s relationship with God, pursuing spiritual knowledge, friendship, speech, anger, diligence, character, the right and wrong type of woman to choose, money, discernment, folly, listening, and kindness, among other things.

Now, the gospel is not clearly articulated in Proverbs, so don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying this is the only part of the Bible you need as a parent. (Let’s not imitate Thomas Jefferson here and start cutting out parts of our Bibles!) We need the whole counsel of God, but Proverbs provides us parents a jump-off point to draw in other parts of Scripture, especially the gospel, as needed.

A Brief “How-To”

We’ve simply been reading a chapter of Proverbs each day as a family at the breakfast table. We’ve done the time-tested practice of reading the chapter that corresponds to the day of the month (for instance, Proverbs 12 on the 12th, etc.) My wife and I and our two older boys take turns reading verses until we have read the whole chapter. Our third boy listens or follows along in his Bible.

Then I or my wife picks one verse to highlight. I’ve been marking the month in my Bible next to that verse to keep track of what verses we’ve chosen so that, over time, we will discuss a variety of topics. We take 2–5 minutes to explain what the verse means and then talk through how this verse could be applied today. Our time closes with a prayer for the Lord’s help to live out the lessons we just learned throughout the upcoming day.

While that concludes our time in the Word, we have found that many times, later in the day, a parenting situation arises where that morning’s verse addresses the problem. It’s such a blessing to talk to the boys about the verse we read that morning so that they can see it in action later in the day. To me, this is what the Lord commanded Israelite fathers to do in Deuteronomy 6:6–7:

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

The Lord has given us much grace to remember the verse and then bring it up as needed throughout the day. Since we homeschool our kids, my wife often makes the key verse part of their handwriting assignment to give them another touch in the Word.

In addition, reading Proverbs has given us a common language, which further engrains the Scriptures into our family’s culture. The repetition will not only shape the way we all think, it will also shape our speech to one another. The more we talk about the Scriptures, the more it will sink down into our hearts and show up in our lifestyles. As a result, a major benefit to reading Proverbs over and over will be the slow deposit of Scripture into all of our souls over months and years.

Concluding Clarifications

As I conclude, a few clarifications may help clear some things up. If we miss a day, we don’t worry about “making it up”—we just keep going with the next chapter the next day, trusting that over the course of a year, we’ll hit every chapter multiple times.

The stage of children is important. I don’t think Proverbs would have impacted the kids as much when they were in preschool, for example. 😜 But with our older two in upper elementary, this sets us up to have great conversations as a family through the teen years.

Finally, we do our Bible reading as a family around the breakfast table now, but the time of day doesn’t matter. Just find what works for your family’s routine and persist in it. And honestly, that’s the biggest thing. If you don’t choose Proverbs to read with your family, no worries. But lead your family to the Scriptures faithfully and trust the Lord to work in their hearts through His Word.